Monday, August 22, 2005

Frustrated

9:08 PM  Kurt  2 comments

I have had such a Monday. Work was busy and I didn't get nearly what I wanted done, done. And I got nothing that I wanted to accomplish done tonight because I was dealing with neighbor issues. Parenting is basically one first step after another, and it never seems to end. The first few steps are scary, but enjoyable; first bath, first trip out, first birthday, first step, first word... you get the picture. But at some point it really turns scary; first tooth, first bike, first time you let them out of your sight. They're growing up. And without your permission! Then comes the really hard stuff; first friend, first friend fight, first independant thinking, first lie, first time following peer pressure. Then today it happened, the next "first step"; major tension and drama between parents, over their children and their children's behavior. We're talking major tension. Some parents even were flat out lying, which is what really made me mad the most.

So, here's the point of this post... How do you deal with this? How can you as an adult deal with other children and their parents when there are very different views of what is going on and on what should be done about it. Especially when one parent is out of their mind and fabricating stories in order to make your child and you look bad? How do you protect and defend your child, but at the same time not do the wrong thing yourself and say or do something wrong? And how do you explain to your kids (who have no idea what's going on) why they can't go over to so and so's house to play without saying something bad about the parent or other children, when it is their behavior that you have issues with?

Not to say that my children are without fault. This whole thing has raised a couple of issues that need to be addressed. And they will. So from one parent to another, Have you had to deal with this? How did it work out? Were you able to restore some kind of peace within the nieghborhood? And with the parents that are way out there, do you just ignore them? Do you let your kids play with their's?

I really want some input on this. Click on the Comments link below to add your own two cents.

later...

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2 comments:

Of course you can count on me to have something to say on this issue. 1. Your first priority is to your children and what is best for them. 2. You have to do your part to "be at peace with all men" and be a good neighbor.

Depending on what the issue/issues were, I think you need to keep your kids with you. This is not easy, I know, but I would at a minimum only allow them to play with the others when you are right with them so you can address any inappropriate behaivor from your girls or the neighborhood kids. If your presence doesn't deter the offenders, then disallow the contact. Explain to your kids that some families have different rules and ways of doing things so for now, we have these rules. Have the kids pray for the offender and also to forgive them if necessary as well as point out their own offenses in the matter.

Regarding the neighbors, I would first prayerfully consider your/your children's part in the matter and ask for forgiveness if necessary. Then after you have determined your course of action with the kids, explain to the parents, "We've decided that the kids can only play together at our house when we are out with them." Or what ever you have decided upon.

Then you continue to be a good neighbor and leave the rest to God.

Hope this helps,
Dr. Mom

My advice is:
Listen to your mother! I couldn't have said it better myself.

We had to let our kids quit playing with one child in the neighborhood because of some inappropriate behavior. They are our number one priority and it is our responsibility to take care of them.

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